Yellow

So I'm sitting here at my computer, my hair all crazy and my eyes tiring, but I can't go to sleep. Coldplay's lyrics will haunt me in my dreams.

IF you have no idea what I'm talking about, then you have never heard the song "Yellow."

Or "Warning Sign."

Becuase those songs, my friends, my readers, my fellow bloggers, are more than songs. To some they are life. To others, they are something to pass the time with. And to me, they are what help me write and get me through the day.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you, and all the things that you do, yeah, they were all yellow."

And when you get the meaning of that, you have finally lived.

Anya

Miserably miserable

That there is someone out there mad at me. And all I can say is, why? Why now? Why at this exact moment in time did you decide to get mad at me? If I had sat with you at lunch on Monday and talked to you and nodded to everything you said, would this be happening?

So now I'm super depressed. I could barely eat last night and I could barely eat this morning. I don't know what brought on this hostility and all I can say is that I want it to go away. I feel so terrible. Almost as if I want to hurt myself (don't worry, I won't. because I know things will work out in the end). I hate feeling this way. I feel a stupid lurch in my stomach that makes me terrified of what could happen. I have shivers up and down my arms from just thinking about this awful fight.

Casey, I thank you for being there when I need someone to talk to. You too, Jackie. You two rock and will always be there for me, I know this. And Michelle, thanks for making me laugh about the whole situation yesterday.

And the whole problem I'm having is that I know K is mad at me and I know why she's mad at me (well, not the whole reason. apparently, there are about 20 reasons why she's mad and she just isn't too happy to share them all with me at this moment).

And last night, when I got that message, you know, the one on MySpace where she's trying to yell at me online (which is doing a mighty fine job, btw) she hurt me so much that I cried. Literally. Cried. Becuase she hurt me that much. It's almost like she didn't know me as a person. Like the last four years we've known each other have been competely erased. And it hurts. Oh, yeah. It hurts like hell.

She doesn't know how much I value her friendship. How much I love hanging out and playing GuitarHero and listening to music and going to concerts. Or even just planning on going to concerts and never actually going. And talking about books. We do that constantly. Talk, talk, talk. It's a disease, it really is.

So now, tonight. I am going to go either to see Ellis or either to see Prom Night with a bunch of friends (sadly not including K. I am really sad about this, too. Becuase if she were to come, I know that we would have a fabulous time). I sort of don't want to go to see Prom Night though because Ellis is leaving tomorrow for Nashville and I probably won't ever see him again (well, I'll see pictures and I'll see his Facebook and I will hopefully see his CD becuase he'd better come out with one. He is very talented). And no, Ellis is not aquainted with me in that way. I've just seen him play his guitar around the town of Boringville, USA so many times with Mollie and K. It was fun, but now not very likely to ever happen again.

Now I'm miserable all over again, just talking about this stupid fight and why on earth it is happening now! Why now? Might I ask. Why this week? Why on earth is this happening to me? I didn't do anything wrong? Did I?

Oh wait, I forgot that I didn't sit by her at lunch. That is totally worth a terrible punishment.

Jeez.

Later,

Anya

Happy Birthday Rachel!!!!! Sorry I'm a bit late.

It's just so cute....

~Anya

Listening to: "Alive With The Glory of Love" - Say Anything

*Anyaximum Ride* - a maximum ride friend

Howdy

My name is Anya. It's a lot like Tanya, but without the T. I live where music only matters and where books are unlimited.

My life is unfortunately boring...so far. Lots of friends, love to read, love my iPod (or Bert, as he is more commenly known), love to play the violin, love my nice soft bed....I love any kind of music.

No pets, divorced parents, love to write on my computer when I am really bored or just watched Gilmore Girls. Oh, i love that show, too. I love Veronica Mars also. I am in love with Milo Ventimiglia (Jess Mariano).

I love poetry, but not rhyming. Versed is great. I love books. Sarah Dessen, Meg Cabot and Kieran Scott are favorites. I have a myspace, yes, I am officially a geek. I have too many books. I live in a very boring town two hours away from Chicago. I love to browse books at Borders and Barnes and Noble.

I love to shop. I love to write, write, and write. My birthday just passed two months ago. I want a David for myself (only true Meg Cabot fans would know what that stands for). I want to meet everyone from MCMB (meg cabot message boards). I have met Meg Cabot and would very much like to again. I love to play in my orchestra at school and make new friends at Music Acadamy. I love talking to my friends online (IM, is a personal prefrence). I love any kind of music, seriously.

Well, except the rock where they scream at you. I mean, MCR is okay, but not...I dunno any screaming bands, so I'm not the best person to tell you.

That's all I can think of for now.

~Anya

Listening to: "How To Save A Life" - The Fray.....don't judge me. It was on a playlist.








Dedicated to Punk Shusen (Rachel)! Because she knows how much she loves to read!